Absence... Sucks!
-by: the Yarnspinner-
the_yarnspinner@yahoo.com
A Sekkushiaru Roman
featuring characters from the anime "Sailor Moon"

        Ami sat at her computer.
        "My Dearest Ryo,
        "It's hard to believe it has only been three weeks since we last saw each other. Even though I remember every detail, it still seems like ages ago, as if it was something that had happened a thousand years in the past. And it is still at least two months before we're likely to have another chance to be together.
        "I know I should be logical and intellectual about this, but all my fine intelligence and reasoning fails me where you're concerned. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder,' people like to tell me. Well, pardon me my love, but absence sucks!
        "Yes, I actually did use that expression, but then, you already know how strong my feelings are for you, as I know how strong yours are for me. There are times when I dream of just running away with you. We'd lie about our age, get married, and never look back. Just the two of us, living happily ever after.
        "But then reality comes crashing back down on me. What would we do for money? Where would we live? What about our studies? Neither of us would be happy if we didn't continue to expand and challenge our intellects. And how could I walk away from my friends when they need me?
        "I'm coming to realize that, except for you, everybody else seems to place higher expectations on me than even I do. While I challenge myself to be better, everyone else just seems to expect it of me. Usagi-chan seems to realize it occasionally, and tells the others to lay off, but mostly they seem to think she's just being selfish.
        "And what's going to happen when it's time for me to go away to study. I didn't go last year. I was only fourteen. I may be a genius, but I certainly wasn't ready to be away from home for so long. I'm glad I realized it, or I would have made a terrible mistake. But eventually I will be ready. There is an outstanding medical program in Munich. From a career standpoint, I can't possibly pass that up. Having that among my credentials would get me in the door of the best training hospitals here in Tokyo. But what about my friends? They need me too. We have a responsibility. Can I turn away from that? Can I find a way to be true to that and to my dreams, and to you, the man I want to marry and have a family with?
        "I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions. I know what I want to do, but I don't know how to do it.
        "Right now, I want nothing more than to just be in your arms, to let your warm embrace soothe away my uncertainties for a while. Just thinking about it is making me feel warm inside, my love. That special warmth that only you can bring on.
        "Isn't it funny? I'm supposed to be the most rational of the group, but just thinking of you sweeps me away in a rush of emotion and desire. Occasionally, I've even had to resort to relieving the tension on my own. It doesn't help all that much, and it's far, far more enjoyable when you do it for me.
        "I know some say women aren't supposed to feel the need for it in the same way men do, but I've read, and can now say from personal experience, it's not true! If you were here, or I was there, I'm sure we'd go at it until we were exhausted.
        "Oh, gods. The thought of how we feel together, when you are deep inside me, filling me up, and we become one, gasping, moaning, crying with passion and delight and love... I'm going to need a cold shower in a minute here, but that is another thing that doesn't help much.
        "But even more than the sex is how much I love you. I know now that I couldn't bear the thought of living without you. The pleasure of you whispering in my ear, of your fingers twining with mine, and of just falling asleep in your arms... It's so simple, I know, but means so much more than I could possibly say.
        "Each day I wake up, and you're not here. Each day it seems like I miss you more than the day before. And each day I remember the happy times we've had, and try to remind myself that we'll have more of those to come, even if we don't know just when.
        "I hope I'm not depressing you, my love. And I wish we could be together.
        "With love forever,
        "Ami"

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        Later that night, Ryo switched on his computer and once more read the letter Ami had sent him. Each time, it had warmed his heart and his groin. A multitude of thoughts and emotions swept through him as he sought to compose a response.
        "My darling Ami,
        "I fully agree with you. I hate being apart from you.
        "After I read your letter, I thought about some of the things I try to keep myself occupied. Not having that special responsibility you and your friends have, I have to look for other things. At first I just poured myself into my studies, but already I've nearly finished each of my text books and I'm even farther ahead than I was.
        "I'm also turning to working out, since I want to be in shape for those times when we can be together. I know you like that.
        "But more than the sex, I just like being with you. You make me happier than I can ever remember. We can talk about our studies, our interests, our concerns, or even just about nothing. And you're one of the few people I feel comfortable sharing my secret with. I feel like I can share anything with you. And I hope you can share anything with me.
        "I keep a picture of you in my room, so that I see you when I go to bed, and when I wake up in the morning. During the night, of course, you're in my dreams. But I do wish we could be together.
        "Last night, I actually dreamed we were alone on an island. Typical fantasy, I suppose, but it was very pleasant and peaceful. Just the two of us, with no outside intrusions. I'm sure you can imagine how we occupied the time, just as I can already visualize the blush covering your beautiful face as you read this.
        "But you said it yourself in your letter. You enjoy making love as much as I do, and that's the way it should be. It's meant to be enjoyed. For me, it's meant to be enjoyed with you. When I slide my fingers between your legs and suck at your nipples. When I kiss your labia and lick inside you with my tongue. When you kiss your way down my chest and abdomen, then work magic with your mouth on my penis. And of course when I slip deep inside the warm embrace of your womanhood, and we make ourselves one.
        "Wow. Now I think I'm the one who needs a cold shower. But the sex isn't why I love you. It is an outstanding bonus, to be sure, but it is not the reason why I love you.
        "I've never been good at expressing my feelings. You remember how tongue-tied I used to get around you. So pardon me if I can't make this come out the way I really want to.
        "It's like you already know me, and I already know you. We think alike, we have similar interests, and we like doing things together. I still remember the moment I first saw you. You were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and you were one of the top students nationally in the same grade I was in. As I came to know more about you, I found you were even more beautiful on the inside. And when we finally did get a chance to be together, it just felt like two halves coming together.
        "Even though we can't be together physically, I like the thought that I have a part of you in my heart, and a part of me is with you. Thus, we are together to that extent. And the rest will work itself out eventually.
        "I love you always,
        "Ryo"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

        Ami printed out Ryo's letter as soon as it arrived on her e-mail, reading it several times slowly, savoring the sound of his voice in the words.
        She climbed into bed and picked up the phone. Punching in the number she knew by heart, she waited anxiously as it rang first once, and then twice.
        "Hello, Ami," Ryo said softly.
        "Hi, my love. I got your letter, and I really like it."
        "I'm glad."
        "And I just couldn't go to sleep without actually hearing your voice," she said.
        "I always like hearing yours, my darling."
        Hearing the relaxed tone in his voice, she lay her head back on her pillow as they settled into the easy conversation of lovers. As she did so, she tried to imagine he was there beside her.

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NOTE: Something a little different this time, and a bit shorter. Special thanks to my partner, Hopeless Romantic, whose contributions made this story possible.

Always remember, good gentles, that a yarnspinner works from and within existing legends and stories. The characters of "Sailor Moon" belong to others. In spinning my yarns, I do not seek to infringe on their rights of ownership, but merely to join with other fans to spread the legend still further. "The moonlight carries a message of love." Enjoy. 

- 08.09.1999